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"Gay" Marriage

This essay is X-Posted from BiNet USA President Wendy Curry's Blog curriedspam

Honestly, I've been less enthused about the "gay marriage" vs same sex marriage debate than I was the trans inclusive ENDA; with the ENDA battle, rights were being held up . . . With the marriage debate, it could be argued . . . as some have done . . . that the semantics (word choice) will not result in a lack of benefits. After spending time with the amazing Moira, I got to understand how some decisions are being made and can respect that.

Love Is Love - support same-sex marrigeOne of the reasons so many "state DOMA" legislation's passed, IMO, was that national figures imposed their beliefs and did not listen to local voices . . . who better knew what would work in their neck of the woods. I am definitely enjoying listening to several CA voices on this list [Note: she means the very lively & interesting BiNet USA Discussion List - Click Here To Join] discuss the strategy pros and cons.

I believe the passion form the bi/trans communities on this issue comes from years of baggage and mistreatment from the gay/lesbian community. Since Stonewall (even before), bisexual and transgender individuals have been the back bone of the gay/lesbian movement. We have marched, planned the first pride marches, spoke before congress on DODT, and volunteered tireless hours to effect change for the entire GLBT community.

Yet, time after time, the gay/lesbian leaders have conveniently omitted us - from press releases, proposed legislation, web pages, magazines, etc, etc. The expressed pain comes from the long history of being welcomes when work is needed, yet shunned when convenient. In this particular case, there appears to be no reason for the omission. Does anyone really NOT know what "same sex marriage" refers too?

The gay and lesbian community does a disservice to it's own cause when they remove us from a discussion. Same gender marriage effects bisexuals and transgender individuals in a different way from gays and lesbians, which they would understand if they included us in the process.

One may argue that 2 bisexual females are in a lesbian relationship. I would counter - your individual experiences, feelings, and yes, sexuality effects your relationship. If not, why would so many gays and lesbians be afraid to date us? it's merely a "gay" relationship, right?